So good to feel good about feeling good!

Over the past few months, I haven't always felt very good about myself. Various reasons and negative thinking of course attributed to this, but what got me the most down was knowing that I could control my circumstances and thoughts and I still had negative thoughts.

I'm still not really sure how it happened, but I've done a complete 180. I think very highly of myself. Hmm, maybe that sounds too conceited. I should say that I feel I have a greater value and worth than I did before, which is helping me to have a higher self-esteem. I know that my value or worth never decreased, I just never recognized it. All of this is owed to my increasing testimony in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Following Him and learning what it means to truly be Christlike are directly linked to the value I feel, because as I draw closer to Heavenly Father, I see myself more as He sees me. Sunday is when I realized that my view of "Samantha" has changed. I wrote it in my letter to God (oh yeah, I write letters to Heavenly Father as prayers. I still do my morning and evening prayers, but the letters are where I just have a conversation with Him. I guess it's just easier for me to write it down) that Sunday evening.

Here is a small excerpt from it:
(A male friend of mine was joking around in his usual manner during church, and then he started to tickle my bare knee. He has also touched my bare legs before at other times, all which led to this response) Pushing him away and telling him to stop really helped me recognize how much of a higher standard I hold myself because I recognize that I deserve better treatment than that, no matter how innocent it may have been. When I told him to stop, I could feel the Spirit increase in my bosom as testimony to my righteous choice and standards.

I don't mean to sound self-righteous or better than anyone. I only know that I felt it was inappropriate and I knew Heavenly Father was proud of me for standing my ground and staying true to my standards for how I wish to be treated by someone of the opposite sex. When I am engaged/married, that lucky guy will be able to tickle my knee as much as he wants to! Haha.... I just think that that is a line that shouldn't be crossed until the proper time, as a little touch here or there can cause improper or unwanted feelings to grow and mutate into something bad and dangerous.

Plus, my knee is meant for my future husband, not just any Joe-schmo! ;-)